Dating can feel like an extreme sport at times. You give it your all, you feel you have absolutely everything that you need but before you know it, you are right back where you started. It isn’t the best of feelings, but I think we can all agree that dating in 2018 is an experience! In this post, I’m going to be talking about 5 things no one should do on a date.
Checking your phone
I can’t relate because I always make sure anyone I date has my full and undivided attention but imagine dating someone who can’t stop staring at their phone? You’re trying to make conversation and all they can do is pay attention to what’s happening on the ‘gram. We are social media obsessed and a lot of us suffer from serious FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out).
Maybe think about putting your phone on silent or deleting any apps that you find it hard to stay away from. Think about how you would feel if the tables were turned? Not great, right? So, put your phone away for a few hours and focus on enjoying the present moment.
Pretending to be someone you’re not
I’ve been on a few dates and thought to myself ‘he seems nice’ but after some time, they’ve let something slip, something that makes you want to find the nearest exit and pretend that you need to powder your nose. Authenticity is so important and it’s very easy (well, it should be) to tell when a person isn’t being themselves. It is my opinion that people are doing way too much on dates. A good and genuine personality does conquer all.
If you feel that you need to be someone else to date a certain person, then don’t date them. Imagine putting on a façade and having someone fall for who they think you are? It’s very unfair so whenever you do go on a date, please be yourself! If they don’t like what you bring to the table, there are plenty more fish in the sea.
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Talking about yourself too much
This hasn’t happened to me but just imagine being in the company of someone who you really like and not being able to get a word in! If all they can do is talk about themselves. If they talk about themselves continuously, without asking you any questions, things will be over before they have even started. Don’t become so invested in selling yourself that you forget you are on a date. You are not a contestant on The Apprentice.
The trouble with talking too much is that you are likely to reveal some things about yourself that your date shouldn’t know. Acknowledge what makes you ramble on during dates and focus instead on building a strong connection. Your best qualities will take centre stage and its likely there’ll be a date two, three and so on…
Forgetting your manners
A friend of mine went on a date with a guy to an Italian restaurant. As they waited to be seated, her date pointed to a table and said that was the one he wanted. There was a woman putting her coat on at the table, getting ready to leave. He told her that he was waiting for the table. A well-mannered person would have just waited until the table was free. My friend couldn’t believe her eyes so obviously there was not another date! Good manners are mandatory in any situation, especially while dating. Be pleasant and be respectful.
Talking about your exes
I’ve spoken with close friends about this point and we have all agreed that talking about an ex on a date is a huge no! On one hand, if your date says terrible things about their ex, that’s a definite deal breaker because if that’s how they talk about their ex/exes then one day they will talk about you in the same way! Any conversation about exes should be very brief, not even a minute long. The subject should be touched on faintly. Nobody wants to dwell on the past. How can you move forward if you’re concerned with what’s behind you?
I hope you’ve found these tips useful. Dating isn’t easy but remember that they are opportunities to connect with others and to get to know yourself more.