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Emoji Etiquette

Emoji Etiquette

We’ve all been there, you open your phone to a message from that guy you’ve been chatting with and see the dreaded… ????. At first, you’re like ????…maybe even ????… how can a simple emoji come off SO creepy? Especially if you haven’t met him in person yet, that’s a quick ???? if you ask me.

But that doesn’t mean all emoji use is bad, if used appropriately emojis can add a lot to a conversation. Personality, humour, wit, sex appeal (*prow*), you name it! So how can a little picture go so wrong?!

Things to keep in mind using emojis with a potential BAE

There are some unspoken rules about emojis that you may not know, and knowing them before you send a ???? to someone telling them it’s raining out…is essential unless it’s raining out AND you want them to know how horny you are. Here’s a quick chart to navigate what emojis really mean when you’re using them on a dating app.

*Keep in mind, these rules do not apply when texting family.*

  • Emoji: 🍆
  • What You’re Thinking: “Could really go for some aubergine parmesan right now 🍆!”
  • What They Could Be Thinking: Penis

  • Emoji: 🍑
  • What You’re Thinking: "I’m so hungry, could really use a refreshing fruit on this hot day 🍑”
  • What They Could Be Thinking: Booty

  • Emoji: 🌮
  • What You’re Thinking: “You wouldn’t believe the indigestion I got last night 🌮”
  • What They Could Be Thinking: Vagina

  • Emoji: 👉👌
  • What You’re Thinking: “Like how could you not see it, it was so obvious 👉👌”
  • What They Could Be Thinking: Humping

  • Emoji: 👪
  • What You’re Thinking: “I’m going out with the squad tonight 👪”
  • What They Could Be Thinking: Wanna procreate?

  • Emoji: 👅✌
  • What You’re Thinking: “I was so hungry at work today. At lunch, I was like 👅✌”
  • What They Could Be Thinking: I think this is self-explanatory. If it’s not, you haven’t been touched by another human in a while.

  • Emoji: 🌬
  • What You’re Thinking: “Did you feel those winds outside today? 🌬”
  • What They Could Be Thinking: Blow me

  • Emoji: ⛺
  • What You’re Thinking: “Wanna go camping next weekend ⛺?
  • What They Could Be Thinking: Boner

So here’s the big question. When you’re not trying to be dirty, but do want to be flirty…when’s the right time to use emojis?

A little bit of sarcasm goes a long way.

But not a lot of sarcasm, you don’t want to come off like an arse! Sarcasm shows wit, cheekiness and makes for great flirty banter. On dating apps, it’s easy to throw some sarcasm in simply by responding to someone profile pictures or bio.

It’s so cute your mum’s in your profile pic, it’s so rare to come by momma’s boys these days ????

End a conversation that’s really not going anywhere

 

Let’s be honest, it’s pretty rare that your first match is going to be your soulmate. Even if you get those immediate butterflies in the onset of your conversation. I hadn’t actually thought of this until I read an article in GQ about men using emojis; but how quickly does a ???? end a conversation?!

You don’t even have to say bye, likely the other person also knows the conversation isn’t going anywhere. Give them the upper hand to ignore your last message with this (hopefully) mutually understood emoji.

???? (seriously, that’s it..don’t say anything more. For the love of god.)

To be random as f*ck

 

Be careful with this one, because if it’s not your personality to be random as f*ck, don’t be (get your head around that shit or you will be a serious disappointment in RL). It’s insane how much you can tell about a person by exchanging a few messages. In an article by AskMen.com, they make the point that a good way to flirt with emojis is to use the less common ones. This point is a bit of a deviation from that, but on the same wavelength. You feel?

Someone please tell me the right time to use any one of these emojis: ????,⚗️,????,????, ????. Unsure if someone gets your humour? Toss in a ????(name badge apparently) or ⚗️(alembic they say, whatever the hell that is) at the end of something..like what?

It’s a beautiful day out isn’t it ⚗️????

Some parting words of emoji wisdom

Do not, for any reason be overzealous with your emoji use. Overdoing emojis in a conversation is like going too hard on the cumin in a curry. It doesn’t feel out of place, but you know something is off.

Going overboard is a quick way to scare someone off, especially if you’re interested in having a RL conversation with them. After reading this post, take a good hard look at your keyboard’s most used emojis. It’s okay to cringe ????. Mine are ???? and ????????‍???? at the minute. In all seriousness I live in Manchester, I don’t remember the last time I saw a beautiful butterfly or took a trip to space.

Rejig your love life.

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