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Story of a Dating App Skeptic

Story of a Dating App Skeptic

Guest post written by: Rachel Bolt

We’ve all been there. Curiosity gets the better of us, or we have one too many drinks and think “What the hell? Why not!”, or we simply get sick of telling our grandma that we yes, we are still single, and no, we don’t want her to set us up with the nice gentleman from the corner shop who we have most definitely seen pick his nose when he thinks no one is watching. So we hit that download button and create an account, feeling a mix of excitement and trepidation, with a hint of shame that is has come to this: joining the online meat market your mate Sarah got 10 dick pics in a day from.

But that has turned out to the best decision I have ever made. While I’ll be the first one to admit online dating has a couple of drawbacks, the pros far outweigh the cons. For instance:

Dating Pick ‘n’ Mix

Gone are the days when guys and girls had their prescribed dating roles; eyelashes fluttering at the bar praying for the handsome gent two tables away to come over and say something classy to sweep you off your feet, only to be disappointed when he turned out to live in his mother’s attic, buy you one SINGLE vodka coke and grind on you like he’s Magic Mike’s knockoff brother. If you know you don’t like jelly snakes, don’t even bother talking to them. The dating world is filled with Smarties filling up the cracks in the jug, but you are looking for your milk chocolate jazzie, or your sour cola bottle, or your foam banana. Maybe they are not everyone’s favourite, but that is what you want, so search through that overflowing £4 large cup til you find what you are searching for (and maybe eat a few mini eggs on the way!)

Dating in Your Dressing Gown

And all this can be done before you have even gotten out of bed. Looking for someone in real life can be time consuming and exhausting, so fit your dating around your busy life. Dave’s gone to the loo and left you in pub alone for a minute? Bored watching weekday TV on your day off? Everyone inevitably pulled their phones out at girl’s night? Hop on and keep chatting up hot singles, like Sarah, 5 miles away, who shares your love of reality shows. What better way to get over that office almost-romance that strung you along for a year? 

‘Special Edition Online Exclusive’

Two and a half years after I decided to give dating apps a try, and many phallic innuendos later, I’m glad to say I’m in a happy (and stable!) relationship with someone I’d never have met otherwise, despite the number of places in which our social circles overlap. Two of my closest friends are also in relationships down to dating apps, and both are them met their partners a lot quicker than I did, but are just as happy. There seems to be a strange cosmic force that ensures no matter how close you live to each other, your paths won’t cross until you decide to tap the download button. Also, if you want to meet people offline too (shock horror), your ‘window shopping’ online can help you figure out what kind of person you want to date.

With that being said, don’t check your common sense with your coat. Make sure you know who you are meeting before you get into their car, and do your social media search to make sure that is their real name and they actually exist. From this former dating app skeptic, get signing up and happy flirting!

Rejig your love life.

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